Death - A Shocking Reality

                               Death - A Shocking Reality !!!

                            

Death was always a bad visitor . In my childhood days when we were too young , we  witnessed the death of our grandparents ...both parents of papa .At that time , all we had in our mind was excitement ....it was a treat for us , we were getting an unexpected chance to go to Ambalapuzha .We were very happy to go and as we reached there ,we could see our uncles , aunties and all crowd screaming yelling and crying . We got pretty scared ....we came  with the joy of meeting all ...but here the entire scenario was different .And after those two deaths , there was all back to normal ....all happy and healthy .

When we reached our teens we lost some of our dear friends and relatives ,who were our age and that was quite troubling , but  even then after days those  wounds got healed by itself 

Years later ,after my marriage one day ,he came back from office early and all of a sudden told that my granny passed away , It was a shock .We had been to Kerala only weeks back , She saw me , I laid my head in her lap and she told me all stories and happenings  and she as usual played with my daughter and she even made me her special dishes specially for me as I was carrying  my next one .And now just days later she died in her sleep .

I cried ,screamed , I felt  that I was going to die . The very thought that I will never be able to see her anymore was unimaginable  . I wanted to see her one last time ,but from Korba I could never reach there in less than 3 days and our friends  consoled me saying that I have the best memory of her and that it is good that I dint see her like that

All uncles ,aunties and cousins wrote to me , consoling me ...saying that I was her pet and she wont like it if i cry .and as months passed that wound also healed ....but the day I went back home ...where my granny was no more....it  was heart breaking ...I could feel her presence everywhere still I couldn't see her ...never will I be able to see her ...it was hard to accept ....very hard 

In my mind I prayed for her , asked her forgiveness for all the hurts I have given her ...Oh I  still miss her 

and as days passed another member joined the family , I was busy with my kids and other happenings of life ..

I was in my world ,when the thunderbolt struck again , this time my one and only aunty was taken away by the God of Death , in a very nasty road accident .She was only 45 and she just leaved ....leaving behind 3 kids all too young. It was more than I could take . She was so close to me ....even more than my mom . Thoughts after thoughts came to haunt me day and night. I thought about the 3 children ,about her ,about uncle.. . I went into depression . I was not able to digest the fact that death could happen anytime ,anywhere and to anyone . It was killing me . I was scared of loosing any more of loved ones . I wanted them all .I don't want to loose anyone .I was 25 then .  

                                                                                      

                                                                                                                               It really hurts :-(                                                                                                                                 

Suddenly everything felt so meaningless. And that is when I started practicing Yoga and Art of living ...slowly I realized that there is nothing I or anyone could do to stop death .

                                                                                                                                                                                                  

                                                                                Live the moment !!!

But then I could learn to live life to the fullest ...live every moment ...love all ...forgive all ....I understood the fact that one day or other we all have to go into the soil ....leaving everything behind.....no one is going to follow you there however hard you love them ......it is inevitable .So why waste time thinking of something that is beyond my control ...Instead why not enjoy life ...cherish and treasure the moments life gives.

                                                               
Also in the due course I realized something more .....when some one dear to us die we cry for them for selfish reasons ...don't we ? We keep thinking of the good times and things we got from them , we worry that now who is there is to do this and that for you ? Who will give you a lending shoulder when you really need one ? What did we like about them ?Why do we miss them ? Is it for the things they did for us ? Is it that we were used to have them in our life ? Is it the body that we are missing ?

I noticed a similar scene in every home of the deceased ones.....I have seen the moment the body is taken to the crematorium everything is back to normal . Everyone start talking about family..gossiping ..laughter  ...sharing news  and in minutes the whole scenario of the house changes into a jolly one ......it becomes a family get together ..and in one corner still grieving maybe the closest relatives of the deceased . I am not trying to blame anyone ...but then that is life ....soon or later everything is back to normal.

                                                           

There is saying in Malyalam " Innu  Chattal  Naale  Rendu " that is it ...that is the basic truth.

                                                       
       

A Realization 

                                                                            

I no more cry when I realized these .Not that I feel sad ,not that I don't  miss them ,but then knowing that life and death are two faces of the same coin ...why make a scene for it ? I still do remember my loved ones .....I sometimes even crave to just see them once  more ......for all selfish reasons I must say ....Time is a great healer .....It heals ...the fresh wound gets healed....but then when you touch them (remember them ) it still hurts .